Build your own Bond movie
- Claire Sawers
- 30 October 2008
Cuban beaches, Jamaican waterfalls, floating Indian palaces - the jet setting super-spy notches up an average of three countries per film, and his missions can occasionally even lead him into outer space or down a volcano.
The hot girl
Covered in gold paint or waving a riding crop, no 007 film is complete without a suggestively named, exotic, and eye poppingly beautiful Bond girl. Pussy Galore, Holly Goodhead, Mary Goodnight and Honey Ryder have all fallen for the charms of 'Oh, James', but rarely manage to melt the heart under the hairy chest.
The evil villain
Making twisted plans in an underground or underwater lair, Bond baddies generally have a physical defect (a bleeding tear duct, webbed hands, three nipples) which might explain the deep-seated inferiority complex that drives them towards world domination. They tend to work with henchmen - Oddjob and Jaws et al and protracted, ill-conceived killing methods are also a trademark - including laser beams, buzz saws, nuclear bombs or alligators.
Like Caractacus Potts in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (Ian Fleming followed the Bond formula when he wrote the fantasy car novel for his son Caspar), Bond loves a clever gadget. Ditto very impressive cars. Technical genius Q won't be appearing in Quantum of Solace though, nor will Miss Moneypenny. The famous lines 'Bond, James Bond' or 'Shaken, not stirred', have also been chopped, as apparently they were starting to sound a little corny. Bond? Corny?
The assassin loves a wise crack, particularly after he has just rubbed out a stubborn villain. See 'He blew a fuse' (electrocuting Oddjob in Goldfinger), 'He had an inflated opinion of himself' (force feeding an air capsule to Kananga in Live and Let Die), or 'It had a crush on me' (a boa constrictor in Moonraker).
Interrupted love scenes
Ever the charmer, Bond normally finishes off a hard day of foiling masterminds and killing terrorists with a little romance. OO7 gets the girl, and then gets it on, under a parachute, orbiting outer space, floating on a raft … Cue a phone call at an inappropriate time, and some painfully good double entendres.