The Blind Side
- Paul Dale
- 22 March 2010
If movies could be made out of human foreskins, Kentucky Fried Chickenbuckets and American Football sponsorship deals, The Blind Side is the film the Republican Party would make to fund their next attempt to hang some chads.
Based on the true story of Michael Oher, a traumatised teenager from the Memphis projects who is adopted by devout WASPs the Tuohys,presided over by the energetic Leigh Ann (Sandra Bullock). Michael is no normal child being fostered in the burbs. For one he’s black, about seven foot tall and possessed of a titanic strength. He’s noticed by college coaches, but there’s a problem with his grades and some issues about exploitation to get over before Michael can bring home some trophies.
It’s not hard to see why The Blind Side has been a huge success Stateside. It hails from a broad, mildly offensive, but clearly reassuring line of white condescendence in American sports films; it is blandly but effectively directed by John Lee Hancock (whose previous form with the sports weepie includes 2002 baseball drama The Rookie) and Bullock certainly goes beyond the call of duty delivering some of the worst dialogue ever uttered south of the Dixie line. The trouble here is Hancock’s script. Wordy, deliberate, pat and plain jaw dropping (were you ever rated on ‘protective instinct’ in school?), the experience of watching The Blind Side is something akin to pulling a turd out of a clambake and crying as it burns your hands.
General release from Fri 26 Mar.