Dead Cert (1 star)

Dead Cert

(18) 93min

Two of modern cinema’s most over used clichés collide when vampires meet cock-er-ney gangsters in this tired Brit flick as Romanian bloodsuckers try to muscle in on an East End strip club owned by Craig Fairbrass. What could have been a cheesy romp (after all there’s not really any more depth to be found in the plot of From Dusk till Dawn) is just a dull slog. There’s a perfectly serviceable cast (Billy Murray, Steven Berkoff, Jason Flemyng, even Danny Dyer pops up for his requisite five minutes) but Dead Cert lacks ambition. You can’t pin all the blame on the budget as films like Evil Dead, Bad Taste and Paranormal Activity have proved a good idea and a lot of love can overcome any monetary shortfall. Pedestrian and predictable.

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