Long Good Friday, hideous remake disaster
Here’s a smashing idea, let’s remake the Long Good Friday and at the same time let’s stamp on the face of the British film industry and laugh ourselves silly to its faint gurglings for mercy.
So it’s good news all round that Paul WS Anderson has taken it upon himself to butcher one of the finest British films of all time.
You may think I’m getting a little carried away, but just listen to what he’s got to say about the movie he is, dear lord, writing himself.
Here we go: “It’s not the IRA in ours, but it’s another terrorist organisation, and we’re doing it in Miami, so we’re re-imagining it for America. Otherwise the story beats and characters will pretty much play out. It will have the same human cortege scene at the start; the spitting in the face; he’s been away somewhere, but it won’t have been to New York…I think the script [of the original film], Barry Keefe’s is so good. And the story is a great story with a great twist in it. I think it’s a great movie for a remake, because outside of the UK it’s virtually unknown and it was very much a movie of its time. It really captured that London of that time in the same way we’re hopefully going to capture Miami of right now.”
Dear Mr Anderson, every word you just said was like having cold ash driven into my eyes, please refrain from desecrating the great films of the past and our movie heritage and go back to directing Mortal Kombat and Alien vs Predator.
Something like that.