JJ Abrams, you're really spoiling us. The new trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens hit the web last night and caused everyone to collectively lose their minds, whilst simultaneously regressing to their figurine-playing, childhood selves. Unless you were born in the mid-90s onwards, in which case, carry on.
We've watched the trailer, oh, about a dozen times now, which helps explain how the two-minute video has been played 16 million times at a rate of around one million plays per hour. So what have we actually learnt? Well, we've broken it down for you, frame-by-frame, for your nerdish pleasure.
The piece still missing from the well guarded puzzle: where are C-3PO and Princess Leia? We're no closer to knowing who or what Andy Serkis is playing even though we've heard his voice, which almost certainly doesn't belong to Kylo Ren, which is strongly believed to be Adam Driver. And we're also yet to see how Domhnall Gleeson or Lupita Nyong'o fit into things. However, what we do have is new planets, incredible TIE fighter and X-Wing action, all manner of exciting teasers and, most importantly of all, our first glimpse of some old friends …
Nope, not Tatooine, but a new planet by name of Jakku. Crashed X-Wing is ominous...
Er, X-Wing reveal was a fake out for the crashed STAR DESTROYER! Could a war of attrition been triggered by events of Return of the Jedi?
Luke Skywalker voiceover, which repeats lines spoken to Leia way back when. 'The force is strong in my family, my father has it.' Please note, present tense...
'I have it.' If that's Luke's hand, looks like he got a serious upgrade in the robotic prosthetic hand department and he is just hanging out with R2 by a campfire.
'My sister has it.' This could be a fake out, not convinced that's actually Carrie Fisher's hand taking Luke's old lightsabre. 'You have that power too.' We're assuming he's talking to new character Rey, played by Daisy Ridley. Were still to discover how she's related to the Skywalkers (if at all), but that could be her receiving the lightsabre from the weird little alien hand.
On the other hand, this whole section could be a fake out if we're wrong about who the narrator is.
Just in case you were already aware... that's just eight months away!!
Seriously, is there anything cooler than X-Wings flying over water? Is this Yosemite?
Flying X-Wings is fuuuuuuuun! Oscar Isaac plays Poe Dameron, 'the best pilot in the galaxy.' Sure, but can you 'bullseye womp rats in a T-16'?
Okay kids, let's not get started on this again.
Daisy Ridley and John Boyega’s Finn running from TIE Fighter attacked (see top left) on Jakku. Looks like they've got their little buddy BB-8 with them too.
So, we finally get what is likely a front on look at pronged lightsabre wielding Kylo Ren (Adam Driver ... maybe).
Galatic Empire is doing its best Nazi Germany impression, we're on a snowing planet (not likely ice planet Hoth) and someone is overseeing this show on the platform back there.
TIE fighters attack! In the atmosphere! Which is all the rage this year, space craft fighting in space is so 1977.
You'll believe a stormtrooper can fly. Also, who is stealing that TIE Fighter and causing havoc?
Could it be Finn about to do a runner?
Ships in space, finally.
Let's face it, we have no idea who or what this chrome toaster is, but it looks awesome. Speculation is it could be Gwendoline Christie of Game of Thrones, but she's busy looking for the Stark girls.
Looks like Rey offering a helping hand to Finn. Is it just us, or does she have very long and bendy fingers?
Yay! Millennium Falcon doing what it does best, fly suicide missions into other, larger, spaceship.
'Chewie, we're home.' Admit it, you cried a little bit? This must be Chewie and Han getting the Millennium Falcon back, so where has it been since it was last seen with Lando Calrissian. And why isn't Lando coming back, JJ?
So there you have it folks, December can't come soon enough if you ask us.
Written by: Lawrence Kasdan, J.J. Abrams, Michael Arndt
Cast: John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, Max von Sydow, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, Kenny Baker
UK release: 17 December 2015
From the ashes of the Empire, the villainous First Order rises up to destroy Luke Skywalker (Hamill) – but where is he? Fans can rejoice: Episode VII is sensational and surprisingly emotional, with a finely-crafted script and effects that never overpower the performances. Star Wars is back in a big way.