Cineworld Bexleyheath

• 2017

• Directed by: David F Sandberg
• Written by: Gary Dauberman
• Cast: Miranda Otto, Philippa Coulthard, Stephanie Sigman

When dollmaker Samuel (LaPaglia) and his wife Esther (Otto) open their creaking home to a group of orphans, little do they know that their late daughter’s bedroom contains a demonic doll. Routine horror with a flimsy narrative driven by Samuel and Esther’s increasingly poor decisions; this fourth film in the franchise is one too many.

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• 2017
• US
• 1h 55min
• 15

• Directed by: David Leitch
• Cast: Charlize Theron, James McAvoy, John Goodman, Sofia Boutella,

Lorraine Broughton (Theron) is an MI6 agent tasked with finding a list of double-crossing agents, aided by dodgy fellow spy David (McAvoy) as she kicks the arses of an army of foes in 1989 Berlin. Basically a showcase for Theron’s sparring ability and withering looks, it features authentically exhausting fights and is a shamelessly derivative but fun actioner.

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• 2016
• France / Canada
• 1h 29min
• U

• Directed by: Eric Summer / Éric Warin
• Cast: Voices of Dane DeHaan, Elle Fanning, Maddie Ziegler

Orphaned Félicie (Fanning) strives to reach her dream of performing ballet at the Grand Opera House, with the help of mentor Odette (Jepsen). A ballet version of The Karate Kid, it looks nice but the soundtrack is a mish-mash and the story is formulaic and lacks comic zing.

• 68%
• 81%

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• 2017
• US
• 1h 59min
• 15

• Directed by: Michael Showalter
• Cast: Kumail Nanjiani, Zoe Kazan, Holly Hunter, Ray Romano

Culture clash comedy written by real life couple Emily V Gordon and Kumail Nanjiani. It plays out with charming, sometimes toe-curling honesty and an acknowledgement of how complicated life can get when expectations weigh heavy and tradition unceremoniously intervenes.

• 72%
• 86%

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• 2017
• US
• 1h 29min
• PG

• Directed by: David Soren
• Cast: Kevin Hart, Thomas Middleditch, Ed Helms

Animated superhero comedy based on the bestselling book series by Dav Pilkey. This is a film that sides with the kids, right down to its sly jabs at uncaring, cash-starved school systems and loose message about the value of laughing at yourself; and, of course, at the mere existence of a planet called Uranus.

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• 2017
• US
• 1h 42min
• U

• Directed by: Brian Fee
• Cast: Armie Hammer, Nathan Fillion, Owen Wilson, Kerry Washington

Lightning (Wilson) is challenged by new car on the block, Jackson Storm (Hammer). The least interesting Pixar franchise rumbles on in a rudimentary cash-grab which is basically a training montage in search of a story, and Randy Newman’s score can’t save it from being a dull lunge for the finish line.

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• 2017

• Directed by: Nikolaj Arcel
• Cast: Katheryn Winnick, Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey

Gunslinger Roland (Elba) engages the help of New York teenager Jake (Taylor) in a battle to save the titular tower from the menacing Man in Black (McConaughey). Writer-director Arcel turns King’s dark book into a disappointing YA adventure with little tension or gravitas, and Elba’s charm is offset by McConaughey’s unintentionally comical impersonation of Viggo Mortensen.

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• 2017
• US
• 1h 30min
• U

• Directed by: Pierre Coffin, Kyle Balda
• Cast: Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig, Trey Parker, Miranda Cosgrove, Dana Gaier, Nev Scharrel, Steve Coogan, Julie Andrews, Jenny Slate, Pierre Coffin

Gru (Carell) and new wife and fellow agent Lucy (Wiig) are ensconced with their adorable adopted daughters when supervillain Balthazar Bratt (Parker) decides to take revenge on Hollywood for neglecting him. It’s all a bit familiar but it skilfully balances kid and adult appeal with its madcap approach and embarrassment of mischievous energy.

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• 2017
• US
• 1h 31min
• U

• Directed by: David Bowers
• Cast: Alicia Silverstone, Tom Everett Scott, Alexa Blair Robertson, Jason Drucker, Charlie Wright

Greg (Drucker) and Rodrick (Wright) go on a two-day road trip with their family in order to attend a birthday party. The fourth film in the sequence completely recasts the main characters (the previous ones having become too old) and despite likeable performances it’s only moderately amusing.

• 36%
• 41%

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• 2017
• 1h 46min
• 12A

• Directed by: Christopher Nolan
• Written by: Christopher Nolan
• Cast: Tom Hardy, Mark Rylance, Cillian Murphy, Harry Styles

Survival story set during the battle of Dunkirk in WWII. The younger cast members acquit themselves admirably, including pop star Harry Styles; and, in its uncomfortable depiction of frightened men looking to save their own skin, this is far from straightforwardly patriotic fare. As he delivers non-stop visual audacity, once again Nolan shows himself to be a master of pure cinema.

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• 2017
• US
• 1h 26min
• PG

• Directed by: Tony Leondis
• Cast: T. J. Miller, James Corden, Anna Faris, Maya Rudolph, Steven Wright, Jennifer Coolidge, Jake T. Austin, Christina Aguilera, Sofia Vergara, Patrick Stewart

Gene (Miller) is a ‘meh’ emoji living in Textopolis who can’t help displaying mixed emotions. Targeted for deletion, he goes on the run with perky Hi-5 (Corden) and hacker Jailbreak (Faris). A combination of product placement, ingratiating voice work and barrel-scraping studio desperation, it’s a witless and blandly generic journey of self-discovery.

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• 2017
• US
• 1h 36min
• 12A

• Directed by: Stella Meghie
• Cast: Amandla Stenberg, Nick Robinson, Anika Noni Rose

Maddy (Stenberg) is a funny, intelligent and beautiful 18-year-old, confined to her home by a severe immune deficiency disease; when smouldering Olly (Robinson) moves in next door, she is smitten with him. What begins as an amiable melodrama takes a dark turn in a rushed, implausible and unpleasant denouement involving Maddy’s illness and her mother.

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• 2017
• 2h 2min
• 15

• Directed by: Malcolm D Lee
• Cast: Regina Hall, Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith

Four lifelong friends travel to New Orleans for the annual Essence Festival and rediscover their wild sides. The fact that peeing on a crowd of partygoers is depicted as a show of female solidarity and mega dance-offs are the way to recover from hallucinogenic absinthe freak-outs makes this an indecently refreshing tonic of a film.

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• 2017
• US
• 1h 58min
• 15

• Directed by: Patrick Hughes
• Written by: Tom O'Connor
• Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L Jackson, Elodie Yung, Salma Hayek

Michael Bryce (Reynolds) is an elite bodyguard tasked with transporting imprisoned assassin Darius Kincaid (Jackson) to the Hague, to testify against a Russian warlord. Hilarious mismatched buddy hi-jinks disappointingly fail to ensue. Hayek has a nice role as Kincaid’s very sweary wife, though.

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• 2017
• Canada/US/South Korea
• PG

• Directed by: Cal Brunker
• Cast: Will Arnett, Katherine Heigl, Maya Rudolph

In this inexplicable sequel to the underwhelming 2014 original, Surly Squirrel (Arnett) teams up with idealistic Andie (Heigl) and Precious (Rudolph) to save their park from the Mayor (Moynihan). The characters are unappealing and the script relies on uninspired action and flat non-jokes. At least there’s no ‘Gangnam Style’ this time.

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• 2017
• US
• 2h 20min
• 12A

• Directed by: Matt Reeves
• Written by: Mark Bomback, Matt Reeves
• Cast: Andy Serkis, Woody Harrelson, Steve Zahn, Amiah Miller, Karin Konoval, Judy Greer, Terry Notary

After the apes suffer massive losses, ape leader Caesar begins his own mythic quest to avenge his kind. Though war is waged in exhilarating style, it is the strength of the emotions the characters go through that will leave you well and truly shaken.

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• 2017
• US
• 2h 13min
• 12A

• Directed by: Jon Watts
• Cast: Tom Holland, Michael Keaton, Zendaya, Donald Glover, Jacob Batalon, Laura Harrier, Tony Revolori, Tyne Daly, Bokeem Woodbine, Marisa Tomei, Robert Downey Jr.

The first collaboration between Sony and Marvel brings Spider-Man into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Tom Holland is the third actor to play the web-slinger, delivering a performance that gives the character a new edge, helped along by Jon Watts' fine directing. A humorous and action-packed addition to the Spider-Man canon.

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• 2017
• France/US
• 2h 17min
• 12A

• Directed by: Luc Besson
• Cast: Dane DeHaan, Cara Delevingne, Clive Owen, Rihanna, Kris Wu, John Goodman, Ethan Hawke, Rutger Hauer

Valerian (DeHaan) and Laureline (Delevingne) are space-station police officers who uncover a plot involving a near-extinct race of creatures. Besson puts all his stock in fancy 3D chases but fails to provide a decent villain; it’s all very eye-catching and has some amusing cameos but of the two leads, only Delevingne does more than phone in her performance.

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